In pre-school, I showed my dad a painting of

a woman with an enormous, open mouth.

I called it “The Screaming Lady.” 

He just calls it “Mum.”



The first ad I ever made was in 7th grade. 

It was a commercial for a fictional

“used organ dealer.”

That’s “organs” as in body parts.

Not “organs” as in instruments.



My last job was in agriculture, 

so I know more about tobacco than

anyone would ever want to hear. 

And I'm an expert at peeing outside.